Motherdom:Breaking Free from Bad Science and Good Mother Myths

In this passionate and persuasive book, Alex Bollen tells the story of how bad science has affected generations of mothers. This is essential reading for anyone interested in how research should – and shouldn’t – be used.'

Such a welcome contribution to the raging debates that surround contemporary parenting. Bollen takes a forensic look at the evidence used to promote particular parenting practices and shows how shaky much of the 'brain-boosting' science it rests on really is. In its place, she proposes a new way of understanding and supporting motherhood; an intersectionally informed, non-didactic appreciation of the diversity in maternal experiences, that is deeply social at heart: Motherdom.

Bollen takes on not only the traditional patriarchal views about what makes a "good mother", but also those who misuse neuroscience to give credibility to their prejudices. Many women who've been told that their interactions with their baby can dramatically help or hinder wiring of the brain will be astounded to see just how flimsy the scientific basis is for those claims. Overall, this will be a liberating read for mothers who will find Bollen's accessible and authoritative style a mine of useful information, and a counterpoint to the flood of neurobabble that pervades popular accounts of mother-child interactions.

This passionately written and impeccably evidenced book reminds us of the myriad ways in which mothers are blamed - for pretty much everything. Across generations of flimsy, bad science, configurations of the 'good mother' have been erected and culturally and politically enforced until the next preoccupation or fad comes along. This book makes a powerful intervention into this sad history and demands a contemporary reckoning, by (re)instigating the concept, language and inclusiveness of ‘motherdom’. Motherdom, as the author sets out, ‘means setting mothers free’ and freedom from judgement and guilt and especially ‘experts’ is so long overdue, it is hard to imagine. But this highly readable book, makes it feel a possibility.

A well-informed and sanity-restoring book.

A fantastically accessible debunking of myths around motherhood. An invigorating, empowering and life changing read.

A refreshing and smart voice in the never-ending "mommy wars," Alex Bollen critiques much of the mothering advice – scientific and cultural – that has produced maternal guilt, fear, and anxiety. Instead, Bollen calls us to a vision of motherdom that centers maternal freedom, and that recognizes that experiences of motherhood and practices of nurturing are varied and individual.

It is no secret that one of the least tolerable aspects of motherhood is other people’s expert advice ... [Motherdom] bravely hack[s] away at this ever-burgeoning thicket of good counsel ... explain[ing] how hoary, old, nature-versus-nurture cliches have stuck mothers in a place where they can do no right.

The specter of the Bad Mother looms over every bleary-eyed and terrified new mom. In this book, researcher and mother Alex Bollen digs into the real stories behind the nebulous studies and perceptions that shape societal notions about motherhood. She also proposes a new model of motherhood, “motherdom,” with which she aims to expand our conception of “good” child-rearing. I can think of countless people, mothers and not, in desperate need of this book.

Parenting is difficult enough without dealing with myths of what it means to be a good mother. I who often felt like a failure as a mother appreciate Bollen’s focus on a more realistic approach to parenting.

A satisfying revolt against holier-than-thou moralizing around mothers.

Alex Bollen, a postnatal practitioner and former director of market researcher Ipsos MORI, turns her intellect toward the bad science on mothers. Her inclusive vision of motherdom is of 'a realm where mothers are valued and not belittled or undermined,' recognizing that not all mothers give birth, nor do all birthing parents identify as mothers.

[Motherdom] combines memoir and history to show how punishing expectations continue to devastate new mothers...a thorough investigation into the intense pressures mothers face.